How to Say "I'm Sorry"

This is a new series called Coffee Talks where we're chatting topics that interest us most, like sex, relationships, communication, and everything in between. Cheers to honesty! Xx. 

This week I was talking about being respectful and polite in professional and casual settings when the conversation took a turn to apologies. We may live in a world of change and progressive habits, but we have forgotten how to say sorry when we hurt someone. At the end of this post, you'll find an amazing way to say I'm sorry that removes all the usual apology hangups. 

It has always been my experience that saying sorry is not a sign of weakness or surrender of control. It simply means "I respect you enough to validate and not minimize your emotions".

Apologizing is an art. It is a recognition that despite our best intentions, our words or actions have in some way harmed another person. We can hardly control the events around us, so when dealing both with our own issues and then the emotions and circumstances of another person, some days can be messier than others.

It is a gift to be able to empathize with another's pain without internalizing it. More than that, however, it's about recognizing consequences and making amends even if you don't feel entirely in the wrong. Apologizing is believing that even though best efforts were made, something still happened that wasn't ideal, and it must be acknowledged for a healthy relationship to continue.

When someone says, "You've hurt me", it is easy to say "No, I didn't", but that minimizes emotions. What truly happened is that someone is hurt, and though it was not intended, it still happened and is deserving of a heartfelt apology. 

Below, I've written out an  apology format I follow that helps me articulate my thoughts without being insincere or overly dramatic. 

Dear (name of person),

It has come to my attention that my action of (action requiring apology) could be seen as (offensive, annoying, hurtful, etc). I never intended to (consequence of your action). I want you to understand I was merely trying to (your intention), though I can see now that it may appear I was (perceived motive). Please accept my (adjective) apology. Moving forward, I will attempt to (proposed solution). That said, I would very much appreciate it if you (request for other party).

Sincerely your (relationship to person), (your name).

+ What do you think? Do you apologize when it counts? 

P.S. Are you doing the smoothie challenge? 

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